First of all.
Now, let me tell you a little story (very briefly) that happened back in 2008 when I was 18:I had more than 2 years with a girl, I loved her, and we were ok, suddenly she changed her friendships, and her mood also changed, she changed her way of seeing life, her way of being, everything in her changed, she didn’t want to leave nightclubs (every weekend), she just wanted to get drunk and party over and over again, then I started listening to various gossips about her infidelities and I did not believe anything. Until I broke up with her to see if my decision would make her reconsider the way she was acting, but no, 5 days after she called me just to notice me that she already had a new boyfriend, I started researching (big mistake) and realized that her new boyfriend was actually the guy that she had been dating for months (when she was still my girlfriend). The experience shattered me.
Unfortunately, infidelity is something that many couples live and will continue living, is not something new, some already realized and others never will. But for those who are going through this difficult situation I would like to share four tips that helped me out of depression.
For real; if I had read this post when I was 18 I’m pretty sure I would have taken less time to get over.
- I'm going to focus from the point of view of man cheated, but of course, these tips can also help a woman. -
Finish It (And Forever).
Live your pain, feel it, there it is, and is not going anywhere soon, feel the anger, that anger can help you to get you out of this situation, don’t see it as an enemy, you’re on your right to feel this way, it is ok, you need to understand how you’re feeling but it is much more important to say “We’re done”.
Are you going to continue dating a person who does not respect you? Say “Goodbye” and set a final point, close the cycle, to keep watching that person or worse: to give her/him a second chance, is just a clear sign that neither you respect yourself. Do not let that person to continue stealing more of your life time (precious time).
Do Not Investigate.
If you already know you’ve been cheated on, leave it like that, don’t waste your time researching who is the other person, set yourself a rule: do not look at her Facebook, do not look at her Twitter account or any website where you can see what she’s doing, this will only destroy you even more.
And I understand that curiosity is like a stone that you’re carrying, but seriously, love and respect yourself a little more, and don’t investigate more than you already know, it’s over, say Goodbye and go on.
When I stopped eating and didn’t go out with my friends anymore, my mom decided to send me a few days to another city with an uncle, the experience helped me a lot, he managed to distract me, they were days of drinking, meeting new people but especially days of reflection, when you’re away from your environment you realize that life goes on (in your city or wherever).
At the end you’re left with a feeling of freedom and independence that only a trip can give you.
Thank What Happened To You.
I mean it, thank you lived that, I don’t mean to go with her (or him) and say “thank you for having been unfaithful”. Just… Thank to life or destination that you noticed, why? Because otherwise you’d spent more and more time with someone who really did not love you and did not respect you as a person, and now that you’re no longer with that person you can get on with your life and find someone better, someone that truly value you, someone who really love you, and when you find that person you will understand even better why was it better to have realized that you were cheated on.
I wish you all the best in this process, I know it’s hard but it was necessary, and it was the best thing for your life, so you can stop wasting time with someone who is not worth it, and… who knows? May be there’s someone out there that had been waiting you to be single again.
Latest posts by Jesus Baray (see all)
- How To Make It Through College. - 10/01/2014
- You’ve Been Cheated On. What’s Next? - 09/26/2014
- Tips To Squeeze The Juice Out Of New Mexico - 09/24/2014
- The Truth About Being Married: I Hope That My Wife Does Not See This - 09/20/2014
- Tips For The Big Step: The Proposal - 09/17/2014