What To Do If You Suspect Infidelity

We wrote about how to deal with a cheating partner a while back – you can read it here. But, what happens if you have suspicions, but no actual proof? It can cause lots of confusion – not to mention pain and suffering.

And, unless you are certain your partner is cheating, it can be tough to know what to do. Go with all guns blazing and it could be the end of your relationship if you are wrong.

So, in today’s guide, we thought we could come up with a few ideas for confronting a spouse, without doing too much damage. Read on to find out all there is to know!

Image source: flickr


First of all, unless you are positive there is infidelity at work, you can’t bring it up with your partner. Partnerships are all about trust, of course, and if you are wrong, then it proves that you don’t have any. Your partner might be being secretive, or furtive, or stay out all night. But, that doesn’t make them an adulterer. You have to take a different tact by gathering evidence.

Get your evidence

You just don’t have a case without strong evidence. And, without evidence, you could be making bad judgements about your partner. You will scrutinize everything they do – which isn’t a great state of mind to live with. Think about going to a professional cheating investigations service if you can’t find what you are looking for. They will allay your fears – or prove your suspicions. Whatever the result, at least, you will know.

Planning the reveal

Once you are 100% sure that your partner is cheating, it’s going to be necessary to confront your partner. Make sure you pick a time and place when there are no distractions. It’s imperative to get the opportunity to talk properly, so sketch out everything you want to say. Write it down on paper if you have to – even a few prompt cards can help if you need them. The most important thing of all is to take as much emotion out of the planning as possible. It’s going to be a tough conversation, but with sensible planning, you will cover everything you need to say.

Keep yourself cool

It’s also vital that you keep yourself calm while going through the confrontation. It’s easy to say that now, of course, and emotions will run high. If you fly into a rage and do something silly, your partner could use it against you. And, although the private investigators will give you evidence, they won’t be able to tell you why. You deserve to know that, which is why it’s so important to stay calm – at least until you know.

Steer clear of the third party

The other person involved is not your problem – as much as you would like them to be. Avoid them, and don’t seek any confrontation, as it just won’t solve anything. Your focus should be on dealing with your relationship with your partner, regardless of how it turns out.

OK, so that’s all we have time for right now. We hope you never have to put these tips into play – but at least, you’ll have an idea of what to do. Check out our blog for other brilliant slices of relationship advice.

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Prime Aque is the back-end guy of Self-Help. He is a blogger and WordPress front-end designer. Importantly, he is a husband and a father of three wonderful kids. His firstborn are twin girls. He loves writing and sharing.