So you’ve found your soul-mate and are beginning to plan your life together. There are some important things you should discuss with your loved one before you marry. Things that are non-negotiable and will, at some point in your lives together, come up. Save time, hurt feelings and a good marriage by having these talks now instead of when it is too late.
Money is always a big issue in relationships. It is crucial that you both agree on how it will be spent, saved and handled on a monthly basis. Key values and personal needs must be evaluated and assured that each is on the same page. You are partners and it is important you are both compatible in these areas. This is a huge issue for those couples who divorce so it is smart to be in agreement before you tie the knot.
Discussing whether you want children and when is one the most important subjects couples need to discuss. How many, when, and what values and education you want them to have will be something to discuss ahead of time or you will wish you had. One cannot want children and the other not want them and have a happy marriage.
Is schooling still an issue for one or both of you? How will household work be shared? Is one going to quick working and stay home when you start a family? Will there be traveling with one of the jobs? Will there be relocation in your future? Agreeing on these things ahead of time can mean the difference between a happy future and a horrible one.
Are you both on the same page sexually? Does one want things the other doesn’t feel comfortable with? Are there issues that need to be resolved? Do you both agree on what is normal sex? Sex in your twenties and how it will look later in life should be looked at. Date nights can help to keep the intimacy alive.
Does your family like your choice in partners? Does your partner fit in? Is there too many issues between family members and your partner to make for a happy family life? Can these things be overcome? Will you see family on the week-ends, monthly, holidays?
What is of most importance to you? Do you want a quiet life or travel and excitement? Save for a town house or beach house? If one becomes ill do you trust that the other will stick around and be the care giver? If there are health issues how will they be handled? What if a parent gets ill and needs a place to go? What will your responsibility belike with in-laws and parents?
For a successful and long lasting marriage these topics and the other talking points that may come out of these should be discussed and fully understood. Knowing what each needs in time of crisis and the good times is such a key in making it all work. No topic should be off the table for discussion. You need to voice what you need and give your spouse those things that they need. Life is ever changing and it is important to be flexible.