Parenting Tips on Having THE SEX TALK with Your Child

Have you ever had a sex talk with your child?  So how did “the talk” concluded?  Parents often dread this time when they have to discuss incredibly sensitive topics.  Sure, we can joke about it with our friends and family.  Some are candid about it with other people while others still may shy away from the topic.  But when it comes to talking about the “S” word with your child, you’d better take it seriously.

When is the right time?

It is crazy when I hear friends of mine telling me they are having this special conversation with their child.  It’s like preparing for an exam.  The anxiety is high especially for the parent.  But here’s the reality.  Sex is more than just about coitus.  It covers a plethora of topics that your child will sooner or later learn.  It might as well be from you.



So when is it time to talk about sex with your child?  The simple answer is as early as possible and when a teachable moment arrives.  Children are naturally curious.  And you should take advantage of this curiosity to teach them about sex.

Teachable moments for the sex talk:

  • When the child dresses up or takes a bath: Talk about the differences of a boy and a girl
  • When seeing people kiss or hug: Talk about the importance of showing how you love someone.  You can also talk about boundaries such as who to kiss or who to hug.
  • When you see advertisements:  Feminine hygiene ads can spark conversations about body changes and puberty.

Teachable moments vary from age to age.  What is essential is that we talk to them without malice.  Providing facts and injecting values allow children to understand sex and sexuality better.

Your role as the sex guru

Are you a sex expert?  I’m not!  However I’m a parent and I know that I want my child to grow up with the right values and the right character.  But parents often fail to address the issues about sex and relationship due to numerous aversions, cultural biases and social expectations.

Discover your role in your child’s sexual awareness

  • As an educator:  As parents, we are the source of their first education.  We continue to guide them and fashion them through ever action we take.
  • As a confidant: Establishing a strong relationship founded on trust is imperative.  Can you honestly say that your child can talk about sex with you openly.  As you child undergoes the physical changes and the emotional upheavals, you help them every step of the way.
  • As a learner: Yes, as parents we learn about our children more.  We should unravel how to ensure our children respond better so that they will listen.

It’s a difficult and at times awkward task.  However, it is an essential step in your child’s learning.  Moreover, it is an excellent time to instill values and morals that define them as individuals.  The truth is, they will learn about it sooner or later.  They will begin to explore and discover.  Wouldn’t be nice that they come to you for wisdom and guidance instead of somewhere else?  Sex is a part of everyone’s life.  The only difference is how we appreciate what it truly means.

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jpcmc

I'm a proud dad and husband. Everything else is just life's clutter.

22 thoughts on “Parenting Tips on Having THE SEX TALK with Your Child”

  1. I really have not made to let them sit down and listen about sex but somehow I do try to explain to them certain things that they seem to be curious about. It is hard, but I try as much as possible to explain it to them in a way that they do understood.

    • it can be uncomfortable for both parent and child to discuss something like this – especially in our culture. we parents can only provide as much information as we can and hope that they will make the right decisions.

  2. schools do teach them this and as parents of a boy in his teens, we are hoping just like you said that he learns values, his father did talk to him about this

    • it’s good to know that his dad was able to talk with him. Schools offer information, but the family should provide values behind the learning. Was it difficult for the dad to talk about this with his child? i’m really curious at how he did it. Perhaps you can share some information.

      • He had a talk about this and used examples of local people who had kids out of wedlock which he sort of explained was unbecoming and irresponsible and he also talked to him privately too.

        • I wonder how it will be when it’s my time to talk with my daughter. She knows body differences and soon she will ask for more .

  3. A mother could easily talk to her daughter, while the father to his son, to clarify certain things about sex. Thanks for your tips.

    • As my daughter grows up, I want to be there to help her out. it may get weird after some time so I’ll just let my wife do the talking. 🙂

  4. In this aspect I am not having a hard time because since my siblings grew with me I had a first hand lesson and I realized the earlier you discuss this matter to your kids the better. It is best that the first hand information about this matter is came from you parents so that kids had an accurate and correct information regarding this matter. With the right choice of words you sometimes will be amazed because kids understand it with out any apprehension.

    • In a recent study among high school students in the Philippines, many have said that they have been sexually active. It’s shocking!

      • It’s true, when my son asked me how women get pregnant it took me sometime to answer his question because he was only 6 by then, but in the long run of our conversation I can’t help but think kids now a day early awakened awareness to this matter.

        • The research also showed that many high school students and even grade school children have visited porn sites at least once. It’s imperative that parents become their source of information and not some dirty sites or mal-informed peers.

  5. Parents should make kids aware, mine was an orthodox family and me and my sister didn’t have much knowledge regarding this, as I was a science student It helped out.

    • It’s important that parents take an active role in this. kids will sooner or later find out. it might as well be from the parents.

        • I’ve seen parents who have failed drastically in this endeavor. i just hope more parents realize how important it is to communicate with their children.

          • That is very true. So they feel comfortable with such things. I remember my talk with my mom. I was a little confused and she make me feel very comfortable and explained it to me so I understood. I laugh about it now. How innocent I was back then. So silly looking back on it now.

          • It can be a really difficult task. But i bet your mom did a great job. when it is my time to do the talk, I hope i’m more wiser by then.

          • I just want my daughter to grow into a wonderful person. In the end, all i can pass on to her are the values that i believe in.

  6. Taking these specials times to talk about these things is so smart. If parents only thought about it. Common sense is SO important in child rearing.

    • I’m pretty sure we all have our own strategy to do this. I believe that creating an open and trusting relationship with our children is an important key.

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