Some people have been fearful of getting themselves into a relationship because they wouldn’t want to get caught between the turmoil of what it may do to them—the fear of losing their individuality. And probably, these kinds of people are the type that does not want to be negated with the decisions that come up in his mind. IN any kind of situation, there are always two sided of the coin- either you agree or disagree. Arguments have always been a part of any relationship. It may sound like a bad thing, but when you look through it, it means you want to share your thoughts to your partner and possibly let your partner know how you see things in a different way and somehow, you may be able to convince your partner that either you have a better option or you can concede in meeting half way.
Before you even get into a relationship, you need to realize that there is a huge possibility that you will have disagreements from one another. But the differences in views should not mean that you are not compatible. Think of how you were brought up. It may have been a different setting with your partner when he was growing up as well. And it would be a great help if you see these differences as a means of “getting to know each other” better and learning new things together.
Some may have said that their partner have changed a few months after their wedding. And that their true colours would slowly surface. And you didn’t? I do think that each one of us give our best foot forward when we are with people and not only when we live with them will we be too comfortable enough to let them know who we really are. But then again, there is also such thing as making better for a more harmonious relationship. And for people who seem to have been brought up in a way that seem to be not so “family-oriented” set up, it might take time but with a good communication and a loving relationship, everything can be ironed out.
I would like to believe that it is possible to make a small perfect world within the marriage but definitely, there is no such thing as perfect. But, compromises can be done which can make it easier for the couple to live together without having the need to throw plates at each other!
In my 20 years of marriage, there were a lot of bad times and sometimes I would blame myself for getting myself involved with the person I married. But life has a lot of challenges which we all must try to surpass. If not, the failure in marriage would soon be the next thing to crumble. Life isn’t easy although some claim that they live in a very perfect marriage. But what is perfection? I do think that it has different connotations and it depends on the person on how he/she things her way.
Perfection may be defined as satisfaction over a certain person, thing or event. What may seem perfect for me may not be perfect for another person. So, what I do now, if I feel like having a bad feeling about my marriage, instead of keeping the bad feeling inside which might turn to hatred, I tell myself that this is life! The imperfections we have are what make a person who he/she is which people would either take it or leave it. The most important thing about marriage is more than the give and take. It should be centred between the two persons that has become one. Why did you even think of getting married from the start of you would let the trials that go your way to break you apart? More than being a couple should be being friends and that should be the best foundation of marriage.
Do you think you have lost your identity in your marriage? It should not. Being married to the person you love should be your boost in becoming the great person that you are. If you don’t feel good about your situation right now, think of the things in the past that you think might have caused it and ALWAYS find time to talk to your spouse and try to make your relationship stronger.
****More marriage articles to come!
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