How to improve your self control

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

― Marcus Aureliu

There are some situations that make people lose their own control and react negatively, maybe say things that they really do not feel and hurt other people feelings. But there are things you can do to improve your self control. Some people are better being calmed even when they are acting under pressure. However, there are things you can already do to improve your skills

  • Don’t send emails or messages to a person when you feel angry with him/her: sometimes the anger makes that we overestimate some problems, make things worse and say things that we normally would not say. Just prepare a draft of this message and leave it for later, when you feel calmer and then when you feel you can think about what makes you upset in an objective manner, read what you were planning to send. Do you notice the difference?
  • The classic: count until 10 before reacting. If it is possible to avoid a discussion you can do it if you think you cannot deal with the intense feelings. Just say that you will think about the subject later. Remember: sometimes it is wiser to react later.
  • Also remember: in personal relationships, winning all the discussions does not make you a better person. If you can avoid a meaningless discussion just to proof “you are right” and your friend/partner/ family member is wrong, do it!
  • From the previous tip, before starting a discussion ask yourself if it is really necessary to make yourself stress for this subject? Is this really affecting you or can you let it be?


Any other tip to have self control? Please share

5 thoughts on “How to improve your self control”

  1. These are great reminders my friend. We choose our attitude when we face different circumstances. I choose to be positive and calm. Control of our emotions shows strength and maturity.

  2. If there is one person I know that could actually hold on to anger for so long, that would be me. I tend to just shrug it off most of the time especially when I know that it is not worth my time.

  3. When we are angry it lead us to distraction, when I was younger I am having a short temper but in the long run I learned how to control it, If I get angry I keep my mouth shut until I cool down.


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