What is Depression and its Causes
Depression has many meanings to different people. Most common signs and meanings of depression can be:
- Feeling of sadness, sometimes for no reason at all or unexplained feeling of gloom.
- Lack of interest in the things that used to make you feel happy.
- You always have a feeling of dread.
- Thought of death and dying and sometimes you feel like committing suicide.
- You get easily irritated and you feel worthless.
- You get tired easily, you just want to sleep and stay in bed.
- You don’t want to talk to people.
- Unexplained anger and body aches and pains.
All of these I have experienced. Yes I have also thought of committing suicide. I would feel worthless compared to others. I want to succeed yet I can’t seem to do it. There were times I would just stay in my room and cry. Even when taking a shower I would let the tears flow. I get frustrated at things. Seems like any little thing would spark my anger. I made anger my way of letting my feelings go. That was not too good. It would hurt people.
One reason I think that caused my depression was my feeling of inadequacy. I felt like nothing I did was right. I am a professional nurse, I have worked abroad and I have experienced moving around as a child because of being in a military family. But once all that independence stopped because for some reasons that were not expected and could not be prevented., you start to feel depress. Sometimes you feel people do not appreciate you. Especially in a group. They would come to you for help to get things done knowing you can do it. When it is done, they forget you and sometimes even the credit for a job well done goes to that person not you, so the more you get depressed.
What made me feel inferior was my weight. When I was younger and before I had my daughter I was in good shape. I was athletic, played basketball, volleyball and tether ball. I was a dancer, I danced ballet, tap dancing and my forte was hula dancing because I lived in Hawaii for 4 years. I was in great shape, I was sexy and well toned (how I miss those years ). But after giving birth I became depressed for personal reasons. I let myself go, I ate and ate to relieve my depression which should have not been the case. I was also trying to prevent men from courting me, I wanted nothing to do with them I stayed a single mom. So I became fat, obese, and whatever else to deter them from courting me.
All these made me feel depressed and when things got too heavy and you just want to give up, that is when the thoughts of suicide comes in. You think that when you are gone, everything will be alright. That is the misconception, you will leave sorrow and make other people feel depressed. So you make more problems, they will feel sad, guilty and then depression will set in for them.
How To Help Overcome Depression
There are so many things we can do to help overcome depression. There are also things not to do while you are depressed. First I would like to tell what not to do while feeling depressed.
- Do not watch scary movies or movies that have a lot of dying or killing scenes.
- Do not listen to sad music.
- Do not eat! you might keep on eating.
- Do not drink, it will make you feel worse and might even cause accidents.
- Do not be alone if possible, even if you are not with them it is better if you are in a public place there will be people around.
- Do not go to high places or be around sharp objects.
These are a few “no-nos”. They are not good influences. So here are somethings that I did to help me keep sane and lift my depression:
- Feel good about yourself – yes I am/was fat. I did exercise and dieted so now I am still fat but at a better stage where I can feel good about myself.
- Find something positive about yourself- I may be fat but I was pretty, people told me I had a beautiful face so I emphasized on it. I made sure I kept myself clean, took good care of my skin, smile as much as I can and wore light make-up to enhance my features. It makes you feel good when you can still turn a few heads and get appreciated.
- Pray – I always pray to God where ever I am, in bed, in the city, in the bathroom or just alone. Pour out to Him all your problems and misery. Have faith that He will get you though it.
- Listen to lively music, one that is a happy tune and you can sing along (even if out of tune) or watch a comedy movie.
- Instead of eating junk food eat fruits and do exercise, sweat out the depression.
- If you have someone you can talk to, talk to them – I have 2-3 people I can really talk to and they can give good advise and suggestions. After talking you will feel like a heavy load has been lifted.
- Whenever I felt like giving up I would think of my mother and my daughter. I would think of the happy memories we have and I would say to myself “you have to wait till you see your grandchild”.
- Cry, sometimes a good cry can release the stress and you feel better. Cry in the shower if you want. Sometimes sleeping after the cry can help you relax.
- Pamper yourself, get a manicure/pedicure, a facial, hot oil treatment and a body massage. The massage can get out the kinks and loosen the muscle. Then you will feel good about yourself.
- Have a pet – not necessarily a dog but dogs are very good in making you feel happy and they can sens your feelings. Having a pet can help you feel secure and loved and when you stroke them it helps relieve the stress and tension.
- Blogging – I just got into blogging and I found out by writing your thoughts and feelings it helps you feel calm, and getting paid for something you like to do helps make you feel appreciated and worthwhile.
These are the things I would/did do. I would pick out one or two of them to keep me happy and to keep me sane. I hope some of these tips can help others too. This is a crazy world in where we live in, we have to survive, we will survive.