Oftentimes, when you have more than one child, it is more likely that they would grow up competing for your love and attention. However, not all siblings grow up with that so called ‘rivalry’. Why? It is because their parents had handled them well and showed that everyone was equal and there was no favorite child. On the other hand, this is a very hard thing to do since sometimes; we do not recognize that some of our actions could start jealousy. Here are some tips on how to avoid sibling rivalry:
- Do not COMPARE
It is a common line among parents: “Take a look at your brother, he had done well. You should, too!” Keep in mind that your kids are very different individuals so you should not expect them to all walk the same path. Sometimes, we compare to encourage our other child to be inspired or do better but most of the time, it would make the other child feel bad about himself or herself if he/she have not achieved his goal.
- Practice EQUAL SHARING
We tend to give more shares with the eldest or even the youngest child but this should be discouraged. Give everyone an equal share at first. If they require more, then give it to them afterwards. It is also a good practice to buy for all rather than for only one child. If it is required by the other child, always make it a point to explain why you would only be buying only one and reassure your child that in case he/she needs it too, you would also buy for them.
- Spend an ALONE TIME with each of them
Set up a schedule where you can have some alone time with every one of them. This way you could catch up with your kids and you could hear their personal concerns too. There is always one child who wants to be with you all the time but you should split your time to also show the other kids that they are just as important.
Some parents admit to having a favorite child. However, this should not be a reason to start some grudge within the family. Some sibling rivalry could be destructive and could overcome love so as early as they are still kids, make it a point to be mindful of your actions to discourage sibling rivalry!