Usually people are taught to be successful in their personal and professional life, which is good. However, this is the main reason why some persons are not prepared for failure in different levels. If we add to this background that, as people grow up and become more independent, they have less time to share with their closest friends they can count on; a negative situation can get easily out of someone’s hands.
The feeling of loneliness, of not being ‘enough’, the lack of success, unemployment, the sadness after the loss of a beloved and the end of a relationship are some common causes that can eventually become the reason why a person ‘lose the hope and confidence’ and started feeling depressed.
Be honest with yourself
It is important for you, if you feel identified with this situation to be honest with yourself. Denying that, there is something that is not working inside of you and simply ignore the problem will make it worse.
As it happens with many other issues, the first step to fight depression is to recognize that as humans, we can be weak and we are not supposed to always have control over things that are outside our powers.
Ask yourself, what is the reason of your feelings? Why does it matter to you? And also, what can you do to make improvements in your life?
You have the right to be emotional. If you have someone in particular you can trust to open your feelings it is important that you find the place to speak. Otherwise, you can find other ways to express your feelings, for example writing. When you put things in a paper and then read it you can see things in context and understand what the problem is.
Of course, it is important that you do not remain in this first step. The best conclusion from making a catharsis is to understand that you can overcome depression and that you will do it if you can.
Do not avoid the problem
There are different ways people avoid their problems. Some people take pills to fight depression. Some people drink alcohol, or surrender themselves to other types of addictions (gambling for example) and some others decide to be in a relationship for the only sake of not feeling alone and “forget” a personal failure. All of these examples are just ways to evade the problem, not to fix it.
Although there are reasons why people may feel afraid to be honest with themselves and admit they have a personal problem, some wounds do not heal just by covering them.
First step: Your mental peace
One of the reasons why people cannot overcome a situation of internal suffering it is because they have not externalized their feelings. Once you have done this and decide that you are going to go through this situation you have to think a way you can recover your mental peace.
People who are depressed may decide to refrain from doing other activities that are good for their mental peace because they have lost the ‘inspiration’ and at some point, everything looks meaningless, which at the same time makes them focus on their problems and makes them feel more depressed.
In your personal process to get back your mental peace you have to remember that you have decided to be happy. When things have lost their meaning, your mission is to rediscover it until you will naturally find it.
It will take time and you will need the support of your friends and sometimes from a professional expert to be guided on your way. For some persons it would be recommended in a first step to avoid situations, places and persons that remind them the reasons of their depression.
Slowly start a new chapter
Finally, as you start feeling that you are regaining the personal control of your life, it is good to decide to open a new chapter and to come together with your past.
For instance, if the reason of your depression is the lost of someone who has died or that has left you, try to think about this person that was in your life, not focusing on the negative moments or the things that never were, but on the good memories you shared and the experiences that makes you know wiser, stronger and more mature.
As John W. Gardner said “life is the art of drawing without an eraser” and it always has its ups and downs. If you learn from them, what it could be considered the “mistake” of an artist becomes one more feature of this work of art that makes it more real.
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