These are Daises withered, dead and destroyed. That was what I felt the past 2 days. I guess you can say it was my fault. I don’t know but there was that feeling I couldn’t shake off, that feeling of inadequacies. I guess even if they don’t mean it but some people have that effect on you. Just when you thought you were ok and doing good and have a good relationship your simple mistake can make you go down the drain. You feel like that you are no good and that what you wrote is not worth reading anymore.
Maybe they didn’t mean it that way. Probably it was they way things were worded or how it was placed. I guess sometimes its 3 against 1 and you are that one. I don’t blame them because they have to protect their own. Or maybe I was already feeling ow then this happens and then something like this happens and you are at lost.
So what did I do? I sulked and I felt down and I wasted my time and earnings. I should have not done that. So later in the day (yesterday the 2nd day) I tried to pull myself up. Played games, watched a series and tried to laugh at thing. Then I did a few posts on some of my other sites. I vented out on there. Just no mentioning of names. I just needed to let it out. If I don’t let it out I might get a headache or even worse my blood pressure goes up.
I guess these are some of the bad things about writing online. You can’t control the outcome or reactions of people. But if it came from someone I really don’t now or just a passing acquaintance then maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me much but it was someone who I thought was a friend . Well she still is but the problem is I feel ashamed and embarrassed to connect with them and be close. I am not mentioning names or sites but I just need to also vent out again
Today is the last day of July. We will be saying good bye to another month and hello to August. So I will be saying goodbye to bad feelings and tomorrow will be a new start.
So let’s all start a new day and new relationships, and renew old ones.