5 Secrets to a Successful Long Distance Relationship

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How long can you last without the love of your life beside you?  I remember when I was starting my career as a corporate trainer.  It was both fun and exciting.  I get to travel a lot.  Being a young professional this seemed ideal.  But every time I left for work, I just can’t help to miss my wife beside me.  Now, that’s just a few days and I’m still in the same time zone.   How about those couples who have to endure years of separation and thousands of miles in between them?  How can you survive being away from the person that keeps you strong and alive?  It’s no easy task.

The reality of long distance relationships is real – especially here in the Philippines.  People are uprooted from their comfort zones and tossed into a daunting situation.  Overseas Filipino workers (OFW) leave their families in order to get a decent job and income.  Sometimes studying can separate couples for a time and it can be a harrowing experience.  Whether it is about work or studying or some other reason, being separated is a real and arduous situation.  But there is hope.

1. Profess your love in all possible ways

Some would think that this is really tacky.  But let me ask you: When was the last time you said “I love You” to the person you really love?  Hearing these words not just strengthen the relationship but bring hope when things seem dire.  These 3 words are a profound reminder of your commitment.  It is both assuring and comforting.  Surely you can say you love the person in so many ways but putting it plainly trumps everything.  The simplicity is truly deceptive.  But the impact is magical.

Long Distance Relationship Tips:

  • Remember the special occasions
  • Send love letters even if it is not a special day for both of you
  • Give your spouse or partner a surprise call every now and then and just say I love you
  • Send special packages or trinkets that will remind your partner how much you love him/her
  • Use the internet to say I love you – I gave my wife a QR code that she had to down load and decode a love letter for our anniversary.

2. Take the time to communicate

The physical separation is tough enough.  But what is worse is not being able to communicate with the person you love.  It is therefore important to open the line of communication as often as possible.  Do you remember the times when you just can’t put the phone down after talking for hours?  How about trying hard not to tear up before logging of skype?  Well, those are just realities the underscore the importance of communicating with people we love.  So make an effort to talk regularly.

Long Distance Relationship Tips:

  • Set a time for you to talk to your spouse or partner
  • Give surprise calls, message or emails
  • Send letters – yup the gopd ‘ol snail mail has its romantic appeal.
  • Use a special paper for your letters

3. Remain faithful

There are many instances where people leaving a part drift apart because of temptations.  Here’s the reality, temptations are all around.  It’s just a matter of keeping our mind and heart focused on the love of our life.  Being separated can cause anxieties.  Don’t let it tore apart a relationship.

Long Distance Relationship Tips:

  • Stay away from temptations
  • Keep yourself connected with your spouse or partner
  • Never forget the love that you share
  • When in doubt, take a cold shower – preferably all no your own.
  • When there is temptation say I love you to your spouse or partner even if he/she does not hear it

4. Encourage and strengthen on another

Being separated for a long time requires strength and courage.  This is where each person is required to lift up the spirits of the other.  By helping each other survive something horrible as being separated.  I draw strength from my wife whenever I need to.  We talk about anxieties, problems and fears. But more than just dumping on the other person the negative emotions, it is imperative to hear some reassurance and comforting words.  In many instances, just hearing the voice of the person you love is all it takes to move forward.  I’m never away too long from my wife yet I need her strength and encouragement.  How much more can someone hundreds of miles away for extended periods of time needs to keep himself/herself sane.

Long Distance Relationship Tips:

  • Do not wait for the other person to feel anxious or bad, start encouraging and strengthening the will of your spouse or partner
  • Listen – the simple gesture of shutting up and letting the other person unload can do wonders
  • Stress that you love the person regardless of the distance

5. Remember that love transcends time and distance

No one wants to be separated from their loved one.  But circumstances dictate that such atrocity happens.  Some couples need to study away, make a live somewhere else, or some other reason.  Just remember that your love is stronger than this time away.  Although challenges may present themselves along the way, the right mindset and attitude can point you back at the right direction.  Your character, values and beliefs will come into play every single moment.  Moreover, your decisions and your attitude will be a function of what you believe in.  If you believe the love prevails, then you are in good hands.

It is scary to be away from your spouse or partner.  Long distance relationships, along with all the stories of infidelity, hardships, confusions, risks and so many other negative vibes is without a doubt a harrowing experience.  But if you believe that straying together in spite the physical distance is worth it, then both must commit to the love they have.

Like many of life’s challenge, this is easier said than done.  But when done properly, both of you will grow stronger and more in love with each other.

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I'm a proud dad and husband. Everything else is just life's clutter.

11 thoughts on “5 Secrets to a Successful Long Distance Relationship”

  1. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship before we got married. We lived in different countries. It was very difficult but after nearly five years of living apart, we were finally married. My advice to people who are in a long distance relationship is to be patient and have faith. Lots of it is really necessary to keep the relationship alive.

    • My brother was overseas for two years and this made him really miss his wife. He made every possible means to communicate and get back often. But you are right, faith and patience does a lot of good for situations like this.

  2. Hello there bro JP, thanks for sharing this awesome tips! You know, right now, I am not ready for that, me and my girlfriend have never been away together for long, yeah, but this one is very helpful! I can apply this one, oh, communication is always key, I will for sure use Skype everyday to talk her if in case I’ll be away.

    • I never took a job that will make us live far apart. I don’t mind a few days out of town for business but weeks or months is too much for me.

  3. This is the most difficult kind of relationship. When a former relationship was leading to this kind, I really had to give it up. It was not something that I am comfortable with.

  4. hmp! that’s why I don’t like to be in a relationship… this is my point. hahaha just kidding.. so agree.

    • LOL relationships are hard whether long distance or otherwise. Relationships require give and take. Although many just want to take.

      • i want to take.. i want to take.. take it .. take it.

        I don’t find relationship difficult. the tips above really don’t just good for long distance relationship but also to otherwise.

        and they are also good for not just “romantic” relationship, but too all kind of relationships.


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